MERRY CHRISTMAS – WISHING YOU JOYOUS YULE!

Every Christmas for nearly thirty years, since before our now silver wedding day, (is that an expression?) we have used the same amazing eight foot six inch artificial Christmas tree. It has real pine cones upon it, is made of bendable wire and has three colours of needles. Folks have over and over, mistaken it for a live one from close up.

And we all adore those decorations you only see for one month a year, before they are all lovingly packed back up again, only to be used the next year. And again and again as our children grow up. I have some old ones, tarnished and faded but still loved. For they are all ephemeral. But I do well at re-using these things.

So here is a column that I feel is half way a decent read..  with the lightest of edits, a year later, here on my own branded site although first seen on Talk Stuff 2017, I wish you a merry Christmas and a prosperous new year.

Did you know that epic-run soap, Coronation Street, was first aired on the 9th December? And that Donny Osmond, your mum’s heart throb when she was nine, also was born on the 9th? No, well I betcha know who was born on your birthday, even if it is because they tend to put that stuff on the wireless and internet..and in a lifetime, we find out this stuff.

Right now, most everybody is either in the midst of Christmas preparation or dreading their dislike of it all. I myself have a terrible reaction to the 1950’s nursey approach my mum had. Back then, decorations upon hospital wards were not a thing that was permitted for more than a few days. Nowadays, especially on paediatric wards, the uplift and beneficial effects for wellbeing, are recognised. So Sister Rayner was all about very-brief-and-take-them-down and we never had any fairy lights at home, as I think she knew my dad would do himself a mischief.

So as soon as it was my turn to make a tree up for my own home, I went and got a massive artificial tree that bears “Is it real?” close-up scrutiny, actual pine cones and all, and all sorts of stuff and have enjoyed getting decorative nonsense for Christmas ever since. From deeply tasteful Victorian-style ephemera sent by a dear artist friend, to utter piffle. For many years, pre-LED era, I was the king of the abused filament glass tube bulb, removing the glass bulbs from one housing and slipping it into another, sliding the single strand copper wires into place in the new housing, so as to use spares from any set with any other set, as all were forty bulb.

Yet now, I feel horror at how full 240V mains was allowed to be so close-to-naked and to have such easy overheat and fire risk, let alone shock risk. The plug went to two-core wire and the number of sockets – or lamp bulbs – you divided the full AC mains up by, which gave you your bulb’s voltage rating. Some though, did glow dimly and some glowed a bit ‘ot.. then died… so I might have been fibbing a bit about safety.and the forty bulb bit.. ahem.

In any case, whatever you decide to do, be it a smoked salmon sandwich and a bottle of champagne while you settle in to binge watch a box set online or if you are to sit down to roast beast with all the Whoos in Whoville, let alone a turkey & some mistletoe, do enjoy and relax a bit. Yep, even chef is allowed a sherry on Christmas morning.

And if you are, like my old mum used to remind us, one of those who has a rough time at Christmas, (the suicide rate spikes a nasty one over Yule, sadly,) then also be assured that This Too Shall Pass and before long, we will all be back to old yearly cycle. Holiday adverts on Christmas day, THE BEST DIET on the telly immediately in the New Year, and Rayner doing ever yet dafter home, pro and cinema system reviews and playing with only the very best car audio around, to keep you marvelling at the art of the electronic.

Do drive safely, don’t drink & drive over the festive season and avoid the old ‘Boomph-tinkle”…

Adam Rayner OnLine Editor