February: ALPINE CAR AUDIO IN SPACE!
My mama wrote novels as well as non-fiction. Of the ninety two books she wrote, over eighty were in print at peak. As a result, I would meet publishers and all sorts of interesting people who would visit the house. One such bloke, who I recall clearly, had a big bushy beard and was called Nick. He was boss of the UK arm of NEL, New England Library, who at the time had the rights to the works of Robert A. Heinlein, known as the Dean of Science-Fiction. Stranger in a Strange Land, widely regarded as his magnum opus, is used in university literature courses to this day. That said, he was a bit of a crypto fascist. But his passion for space exploration and the logical clarity of his vision remains as a powerful legacy. Bobby H would have adored Elon Musk. One day, this massive bloke arrived at our house and presented me with a polythene shrink wrapped bale of books. Twenty titles I think, which I devoured greedily, enjoying every single one as a page turner of classic science-fiction. To this day, I still check to see if it is a title I have not read, when I find listings or actual books by Robert Heinlein.
Thus, I was so far beyond merely excited to see SpaceX’s twenty seven rocket engines lifting from Cape Canaveral, with a Tesla roadster in a box balanced on the top, that I admit I filled up. Watching those two rocket boosters landing just exactly like the rocket in Hergé’s, Tintin Destination Moon, let alone ruddy Thunderbird 3, was literally awesome. Then, the Roadster in space I rejoice to be living in the future.
Fans of Elon Musk’s Tesla motorcars will know that as well as humiliating Lamborghinis and Ferraris with his family runabouts in drag races in ‘˜ludicrous mode’, such is the instant-on entirety of the electric motor drive, there are bonkers Easter Eggs of functional craziness included in the software of these cars. Sometimes time controlled, you get a new one with every software update and more may yet be hidden, as the one that makes your car look like Jame’s Bond’s Lotus Esprit submarine took a year to find. Elon loves cultural references. In the Roadster sent into space, there is a dummy at the helm called Starman, from David Bowie’s song of the same name. ‘There’s a star man waiting in the sky. He’d like to come and meet us but he thinks he’d blow our minds’ and the headunit in the dash displayed a simple message from Douglas Adams’ legendary Hitch Hiker’s Guide To The Galaxy – ‘DON’T PANIC!’
The absolute best thing of all, is the Alpine connection. The Lotus Esprit submarine did of course have an Alpine head unit in the James Bond movie, and there, clearly operating in the ultimate vacuum of space, in the dashboard of the Tesla Roadster, was the Alpine INA-W900, USA market Double DIN 7.0in screen head unit. Those two words were all that showed on the screen. I would love to know how long the batteries will last (and what the onboard accelerometers made of launch!) but I suspect that by the time that screen goes dark on its way to the Asteroid Belt beyond Mars, (due to a slight overboost) that individual Alpine head unit will have travelled further in sheer miles than any other single product they ever made, by many millions of miles.
I called the UK Alpine folks to see what they thought, and was told, ‘Alpine has always tested our equipment in vacuum test chambers and others that subject the products to the most intense changes of temperature and playing conditions possible at our Iwaki City research centre. It has always been good to be part of pop culture, from Will Smith to James Bond, with iconic technology presented before its time but this is something else. We couldn’t be happier than to be voyaging with Starman.’
Here’s hoping you get/got a cuddle on the 14th! Take care and avoid the old BOOMPH – tinkle!
Adam Rayner On Line Editor.