Modified Nationals 2009

Adam Rayner brings you this report from the East of England Showground, scene of much hectacity and cool rides…
I absolutely adore this show! Now in its seventh year, I have been lucky enough to work for the No Limits Events folks for all that time. For the last two years, though, it has had a slice of added piquancy in that we have been there as Talk Audio, exhibiting in our own right.
In the previous years the job has entailed being ringmaster for the Live Action Arena as well as being the presenter for the prizes for all the cars and clubs and even a prize for the best looking traders’ stand. Also, to my utter delight, it has been the Bikini Babes contest as well.

Politically incorrect as hell, I for some reason cornered the market in presenting this breasty gig and did similar jobs for Santa Pod at USC (including a ‘Mr.’ as well as ‘Miss’ USC contest, for the ladies’ entertainment – and far more rowdy a crowd at that) and on the Clarion rig for three seasons with their adorable and cutie pie dancers. One of whom brought her own paddle and handcuffs to torment boys on stage with. (The cuffs never got used but the lads had to say “Please Mam, I want another!” before the lass would slap his tuchus again, so as to make it consensual, to win prizes) It has been quite absurd in the past and a pretty major set of attitude gear changes in a day’s work but this year the Max Power crew are back on the scene and have obviously recognised that the Modified Nationals have now slapped the Donny show for the Top Dog title and that meant Max Power Babes.
So I wasn’t doing the same job but still got to talk about link and link which were just bloody brilliant. Nitro-methanol fuelled and with over 3,000 horsepower on the field, they jumped, roared, wheelied and doughnutted and one even shed a wheel upon landing, the steel secondary safety hawser snapping sacrificially to take most of the oomph out of it. Yet it still rolled over lazily from Swampthing to the Slingshot and smashed its ten-foot-off-the-ground bumper off! My car was nearby and quite stupidly in the line of possible harm. I nearly had a kitten right there on the field!
The stunt bikers were an outfit called Risk Club who were so skilled it was breath-taking. They work without leathers and thick boots so they can do balances and ridiculous tricks that made the stunt man in Mad Max look like an utter amateur. Totally different American style to the likes of Craig ‘Ace’ Jones who holds the world’s longest stoppie record. Only trouble was, they were so keen, they started their first show before the allocated time, with no ruddy compere! I was quietly fricking IRATE but said nada at the time. Just made certain that for their next show, I had allowed some time to do the ‘Roll up laydees and gennelmen!’ thing for a moment and had them twenty deep around their tarmac paddocky bit by the time they did kick off. The fabulous new building at the East of England showground has all this lovely new roadway and posh car parks around it and the owners went purple when they saw how much rubber the drift car the Risk Club had brought with was laying down in said area. Subsequent performances were the Kawasaki 600cc Ninjas alone but a standing-balanced-on-the-pegs burnout does make smoke and eats road surface. So I doubt it’ll be the same next year! But those monsters – I loved them like a seven year old fanatic! 
The car clubs were out in force as were the nutter blokes wanting to be noticed dressed in bikinis and fishnets (or else a  mankini) and the babes hoping to be spotted by the talent scouts and their snappers. They also get snapped by perves with inappropriately long lenses and they seem to accept that.

Which is nice as you can see by the gallery, I too have a strong Media Need to take such images for your approval. It’s entirely professional, no perving at all. Well hardly any.
I did have one guy come up to me at the end of the last Bikini show I ran the previous year and he told me, in a thick Scots accent, that I was “The sleaziest man alive” and then asked to shake my hand.
I wasn’t sure it was a compliment I fully appreciated.
But the real reason to be there is that it is the de facto only real car audio show on the circuit. The ISTS show has a sound off and EMMA had huge attendance there but it was their success, not ISTS’s. Almost in spite of the ISTS show, not a valued piece of it, being plopped off to one side. The promoters are much better for the Modded Nats and gave EMMA high billing and a totally prime location right in the front of the hall’s entrance. The Modded Nats also hosted two other ice contest formats in the shape of dB Drag and Propper Dropper”> Street Bass contests.
Darren Millard’s dB Drag boys were put even further out in the outfield than Camp Kicker whose HumVee was basking in the sunshine with the Most Eligible Executive in ICE, Mike Smith, in residence like some kind of Hugh Hefner of Ice. Always surrounded by improbably attractive women who dance on the Hummer’s roof for him. It’s true that Armour Automotive are the most active show-goers of all companies and they had a right old community happening with tent-town-o-bass. (Although the boss was at the Holiday Inn with the staff!)
Indoors, as well as the most brilliantly beautiful cars on the circuit in the main hall and the other Max Power Feature Hall (where Grish Janday was parked in the Pioneer cabriolet – in a perfect spot to just sit on his butt to see the Max Babes on the Max Power stage right in front of him, git!) we had a serious slice of the glacier’s snout melting right there.
In addition to Pioneer being in the house with their Audi cabriolet, we had Kenwood also representing the majors with their Huets-installed Scirocco and a few other peachy Kenwood cars, right next to Digital Designs of which more in a moment. Midbass were there with their big rig and a collection of cool tunes to pump out of the thing via Pioneer DJ system kit. The Max Power trailer also had a DJ thing going down and as well as the GodsKitchen rave ups in the evenings, (and the full on gentlemen’s’ club style ‘adult entertainment’ tent) they had Kiss FM to present their live stage throughout each daytime with Ikon as their headliner.
Talk Audio were next to Rockford Fosgate who had Paul Richardson materialise with a wicked Ferrari and son and partner Jo in tow. Jo had to drive another demo car while Paul drove the Ferrari with his son in a booster seat. Totally cool till you reach the petrol station and get spotted looking for the petrol cap. “Rented is it, then?” was the cynical petrol sales bod’s quip!
Richard Page had set up a wall of bass enclosures and was experimenting with being a ruddy bass hooligan with them. His boss was so proud….. You will be hearing more about this guy, I reckon as he’s more than slightly keen on his Rockford kit and is developing the stick-of-rock internal branding as you read this. Slice him in two and it’ll show.
Talk Audio’s new-ish (well it was it’s third outing) set of link was brought out and set up over Ian ICEMAN Pinder’s Astra, which has now got its V6 engine and was freshly sponsored by Paul at Roose Motorsports for a sexy set of blue silicone hoses, which really finish it all off under the bonnet.
Fusion were there with their inflatable exhibition thing and some really spandy-new cars and a few heart-stoppingly scrumptious promo lasses. It was so cool! Fusion were a major sponsor of the show and also sponsored an outfit who set up in a shed with a Dynamometer. I was to compere this rolling road in between times but only made it for a while. During which one lad was gutted his Pug only made 190bhp despite the exhaust and induction kit and another was saddened that his shopping car was still just a shopping car even after some heavy mods. More impressive was this American from one of the Norfolk airbases who brought his Special Vehicle Team Cobra Mustang Ford along to prove it had over 450bhp at the wheels. He was a humourless fellow and probably exactly what was required in his job. You don’t really want excitable types on the trigger, do you? He was hard work though!
The most significant exhibitor and a real indicator of the level of esteem the show is held in, was the guys from Digital Designs. They came from Oklahoma City in the USA and had some kit on show and a Panda making over 150dB from two amps and two drivers. Their stuff is ex-pro-audio derived and as extreme as anything that exists. “We serve a Brutal Market” was how it was described to me. Their most extreme item has sixteen tinsel leads running between laminations of dual spiders. Incredible stuff and due to be far more available in the UK.
The most impressive visitor had to be Todd Zier who I was able literally only to say hello to but had come from France on a day trip out of his European tour and had travelled by ferry, rail and cab to be there. He’s a top bloke who has been in car audio since the eighties and built that amazing truck that Treo used at the CES – you can find a picture of me with it ! Awesome effort and  I would love to get to know more about him – he’s Zierbox on the forum, give him some respect! His site is link is awesome, the man’s a ledge!
The sun shone, the event absolutely stonked and Ian did hair tricks throughout, allowing various folks to sit in the Astra van and be barbecued by the bass. I saw a few lads get proper ignited with the passion, including one lad who was into his banger racing but asked a few dozen questions then read every word in Ian’s three features; the Lifetime Achievement Award from Fast Car, his huge car feature and his central part of the “F*** SPL, Gimme Richter!” feature, both in the same mag.


Those of you who haven’t read ’em do go check out the Talk Audio magazine features The Iceman Cometh. It’ll all become clear to you!
I had a brilliant time and yet forgot one ruddy huge thing at the end of the weekend when presenting the prizes which was to ask for what always turns out to be the hardest and most heartfelt round of spontaneous applause for the promoters Mark and Jacx of No Limits Events and their young ‘uns who put an amazing amount of effort into each show and deserve to be lauded as heroes!
So Thanks Ever So Much Guys for the best show I have been to in ruddy YEARS!
And here’s where to click to see a funky cool slideshow in the newly imported gallery system. We LOVE this!
link