The Punisher Hearse; WAKING THE DEAD

SYSTEM OF THE MONTH: Once upon a time, there was a ‘˜playas’ styled mag online, called MyMod magazine. It was frankly about cars and well, awfully naughty girls. Not ‘˜merely’ that side of modelling called glamour meaning nude but actual porn stars as well, sprinkled among the lasses who simply revelled in a bit of pervy boy-attention. There were only ever two events and both were at venues that were terribly English in their attitudes. The 2011 one was at a lovely spot in Epping Forest, that had an outdoor pool, with daybeds and lots of space. While they objected to the less-than-BBC filtering I had used on the P.A. so I had to tone down my language so those outside could not hear me, the owners are true happy libertines. Their only limitation to the shenanigans was that if they had made a full-on adult flick there and then, that THEY would have the rights! I was only gently flabbergasted.
Then, in 2012, they found the Eureka Sun Club in Kent. This is a full on nudista club with a seriously well appointed pool and bar venue, plus cabins with double beds in that lead directly off the greensward, so that the naked people can party till they drop.
I recall a moment. It was first thing and lots of us had arrived to be ready and that hairy nutter James Renshaw decides to play a bit of CENTIPEDE by Knife Party a Dubstep epic. In moments a very angry and slightly hung over looking lady of oh maybe mid forties, appears from the cabina adjacent to the car, for it appeared a different variety of occupants was within each one. She was not only very pissed off at being woken up, she was very naked and clearly found our fully-threaded state, offensive in itself. So I took all my clothes off and remonstrated with her.
Well actually no, I did remonstrate, clothed also with James, who turned it down until we were officially within ‘˜our’ hours there.
The event was hilarious and a little bit scary. One of the slightly more worldly-looking of the be-inked ladies of exuberant nature that was there, turned out to be playing among the ‘˜Nillas’ as she runs a site so rude, I cannot even describe it in my world! It nearly stopped my girlish laughter for ever and I was in fact ticked off that I did not know on the day as it would have made me chuckle all the more.
But oddest of all, it attracted one particular car that I had never seen before. No, not the replica ‘˜Kitt’ from Knight Rider despite the owners’ being totally certain to me on the day that is was an actual production prop car but the Punisher Hearse. I heard or felt it before I saw it and was drawn to the bass. As I got close enough to see what I thought might once have been a Ford Granada based Coleman Milne hearse.
As I got into range, there was this chap attached to the thing, who seemed a bit startled.
It turns out that he was a crazed bass head and car audio fan in the very same way as myself and as such, had just lapped up every damn thing I ever did. From Car Stereo & Security and especially Max Power, thence Fast Car, this bloke, One Pat Ryan, had read it all.
He told me that he was such a fan that he decided to build a version of the installs I found so very cool from the USA, which were hearses. There was one called Terminator and another called Assassinator, but Pat wanted The Punisher.
I told him that I would love to do a feature and said that one day, I would. I had been angling to get it into Fast Car magazine. In the event, it turned out to be too hardcore ice for their new readerssigh.. so here she is in all her glory.
A CONCAVITY OF CHAOS
It’s a windy as hell and a gut rattling, intestinal bastard of an install. Pat has sixteen subwoofers from JBL. They are old but not aging, say ‘˜1,000 watts’ on their domes and can still de-bone you. As I found out at the Modified Nationals show, where I snapped all these pictures. They are in four rows of four, all mounted in a serious wall. It looks all curved and smooth. A Concavity of Chaos, it is as rigid as a stiff thing and directs all the bass waves into a focus zone of where the occupants sit. It seems to squeeze the centre and splurge outwards from there, as the bass from far off has a lovely even smoothness that is by no means monotonic. For like all JBLs, these woofers are staunch. They wobble, they drop, they power and they purr. Then the bass HITS and they fucking remove your gall bladder. In efforts to impress, I would lay money on the weight and girth of the bass in there to be pushing the 155s in decibels SPL!
But the dangerous shizzle is all the mids and tops. For each available surface is tessellated with speakers. Like the back of a pregnant Surinam toad, the doors wear a plethora of posh pumpers. These are mids and tweeters from a component system, four sets of them for eight mid drivers, four per door. In the pics, you can see that Pat has made a feature of the passive crossovers that direct the watts to the drivers. As well as looking cool, this is simply so you can fix or tighten screws up. As the vibration dose is pretty severe for the kit as well as your undigested whatever.
In the ceiling are more solid panels and these are filled with four pairs of three way JBL coaxials in six and a half in. The mids and highs keep up with the bass and the sound from outside is just as astonishing as it is from within.
In the rear is a room with three TV sets, an Xbox, another Sony headunit and a whole extra sound system, with surround sound, as well as lots of LEDs in the roof.
The side windows have a panel behind them, are painted and in the dark, the WAKING THE DEAD lettering can glow blue. The whole edifice is brilliant and so very much my tastes as it was built specifically to them. I was so deeply honoured and reckon that Pat Ryan, daft but true, has to be my No.1 fan of all time.
I love him!
It attracted Zombies

Pat Ryan, the owner

..of THE PUNISHER

These JBLs dish it OUT

The doors are stuffed

And here is the Spec

The airbrush work is gorgeous

We had put off this shoot for a year or twoand it was MEANT! As we got these zombies for free

The front end, with voltage meters

And in the back, with a full size TV, an Xbox

..and another Sony headunit

The slideshow of all the pictures is here. I only managed to get a few of the zombies before they wandered offso do forgive a couple of rough shots..
link
Here is the Modified nationals video. Pat features from 3:52 seconds into 4.53